Adam Duritz Fights DP

Duritz overcoming DP
The Lonely Disease
Counting Crows front man Adam Duritz reveals how he battled a debilitating mental disorder to record the best music of his career -- and reclaim his life.
Men's Health
March, 2009


Direct Link to Full Article

By: Adam Duritz - Lead Man for Counting Crows, in his own words:

"This was not depression. This was not workaholism. I have a fairly severe mental illness that makes it hard to do my job -- in fact, makes me totally ill suited for my job. I have a form of dissociative disorder that makes the world seem like it's not real, as if things aren't taking place. It's hard to explain, but you feel untethered.

And because nothing seems real, it's hard to connect with the world or the people in it because they're not there. You're not there. That's why I rarely saw my family back then: It's hard to care when everything feels as if it's taking place in your imagination. And if you're distant with people, especially women you're romantically involved with, they eventually leave.

What makes my case even worse is that every night I go out on stage and have this incredible emotional connection between me, the band, and the audience. Then, just like that, it's over. I go backstage, back to the bus, back to my hotel room, and sit there all by myself. That deep connection is yanked away in an instant. It's like breaking up with your girlfriend over and over again, every night.

A dissociative disorder worsens unless you take steps to fix it. First you treat it with medication, usually with mixed results. Then you learn to cope with it, which is a whole other challenge. I gained 70 pounds from the meds I was taking initially. You can see that pretty easily in photos of me from the past few years. I went from athlete to fat guy. Then I had to read in the tabloids about how fat I was......"