Vinnie Paz - Rapper With Dersonalization Disorder


“Darkness comes beneath the dying stars
With all the blood and scars
I'm gonna hunt you
With fear I appear
Nothing will stop me
The greatter
Creature in me
Shattered, I will capture you
So run

My family don't understand what I go through
Under diagnosed for 20 years,
ain't never broke through
You ever been in such a fog you don't know you?
Never being able to do the shit you're supposed to?
I wouldn't wish it on anyone that I'm close to
Wouldn't wish it on anybody that I'm opposed to
There's not an accurate diagnosis to show you
Basic neurobiology isn't close to it
I'm watching life as a spectator
I can't help myself, even though I possessed data
It's not a part of my spirit to want to test nature
You think you know what I'm feeling, cousin, then let's wager
I'm having trouble retaining new information
Familiar scenes starting to look foreign - derealization
Everybody tired of being patient
Mama wondering why her baby crying in the basement
Constant rumination just exacerbates it
To the point where I can't barely narrate it
I've had doctors tell me that my mind is fascinating
But they can't tell me why the sickness has been activated

My head don't work, the meds don't work
But I don't want to be dead, dead don't work
Sleep's the cousin of death, the bed don't work
Maybe I'd rather be dead; dead don't hurt
Realization of an inherent emptiness
Maybe that's another sin for the pessimist
Possibly I am a jinn with a exorcist
I've fallen because I've been on the precipice
Maybe it's my mama's possible regret
Maybe it's a neurological neglect
Maybe it's the reason why water's wet
The angular gyrus and where the frontal lobe connect
But maybe I'm being too complicated for you
Maybe I should just be calm and explain it to you
The psychiatrist thinking they could fool you
Paxill, Zoloft, it's just wasteful to you
I've tried meditation, tried to sit in silence
But how the fuck that help a neurochemical imbalance?

Why would you tell a person that they were childish
Without an understanding of the pain that they surround in?
I always feel foggy symantic attachment
It's like my body isn't connected to actions
It destroys everything that's affected the fragments
I don't have nothing but senses and sadness

Darkness comes beneath the stars
With all the blood and all the scars
Nothing will stop me
The greater Creature inside of me


"Shine On You Crazy Diamond"

We must all fight the good fight ... we must all shine like crazy diamonds ... Read More...

Depersonalization in Pop Culture

I found this in Wikipedia recently and was quite surprised by some of the pop culture representations of depersonalization. For instance, I have not read Ellis’ American Psycho, and am not certain if the author clearly understands depersonalization; I will report back on that one.

I’d also like to emphasize that depersonalization (in the neurological/medical sense I discuss on this website) has nothing to do with the philosophy of existentialism such as in Sartre’s book
Nausea; this is briefly noted in the article that follows but this has never been discussed adequately in any literature I have come across.

Depersonalization also has nothing to do with Buddhist enlightenment. I will discuss this misunderstanding re: enlightenment in another entry. There is tremendous confusion surrounding this assumption as well.

Adam Duritz Fights DP

Duritz overcoming DP
The Lonely Disease
Counting Crows front man Adam Duritz reveals how he battled a debilitating mental disorder to record the best music of his career -- and reclaim his life.